In the past two months, we have not seen each other, due to him. I am not allowed to go to his house and visit him, nor has he even attempt to come here. Here is the email that I sent him;
Stan,
This is so hard for me, I have to say for the past two months, it has given me time to think. Do I really want a relationship? No would be the answer. I really didn't want one from the start, as I remember, I told you I didn't want one then. And look I am in one. Or sort of, or not.
I have been trying to figure out how to tell you without hurting you. But no matter what I say, it will hurt you. For that I am sorry.
Allen
I made this email as simple as I could. I didn't want to blame or accuse.
His reply was over the top. He accused me of cheating on him. I was taken back, dumb founded and then anger flew over me. Here is what he had to say;
I just read an very interesting article on your blog. A Day with Darrel. I noticed that the date was just last month. the 19th of December. Could you explain to me something Allen. are you and him back together? But wasnt it you that said to me that if you caught me cheating you wanted nothing to do with me? The article made it seem like you made out with him when you showed him your desk.
WTF - Darrel and I do have a relationship, as a father and son. I have known Darrel since he was 18 years old. Darrel looks up to me as a father figure. He calls me dad, and my father grandpa.
But you must remember two things. One I have no car and two my step-brother wont allow anyone here. So I think that is all I have to say on that.
I told him in the past two months, that we still could go out, but he never has asked. I also told him that I have a bus stop right in front of my house. But he has never showed up. I spent Christmas and New Years alone.
A friend told me "if you truly love someone, nothing will stop you from seeing that person."
So I had to ask myself, do I truly love him. No
I tried to make it work, but its not working for me.
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